


A slice of heaven...

by Callmepapi



Category: Mr. Kipling
Genre: Gen, fucking fiiilth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:22:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24471991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callmepapi/pseuds/Callmepapi
Summary: ever wondered what its like to be fucked by a cake in asda at half ten?
Relationships: Cake/Human
Kudos: 2





	A slice of heaven...

**Author's Note:**

> consider this an early birthday present Bethany!
> 
> lmao, pure fucking filth, this is...

Birthday cake. Birthday cake, fuck! Why do I always leave everything until the last minute?!

I knew the bloody birthday was coming up. But did I plan anything?  _ Nooo. _

Thank god Asda was pretty much empty. Although, I suppose it would be at half ten on a Wednesday night, thirty minutes till closing.

I rushed past the unoccupied aisles, almost panting as I hurried to the bakery. Why did it have to be so far away?

Ok, ok. Let’s see - chocolate cake, carrot cake, _ minion cake?!  _ Oh  _ god _ , no. Vanilla-

Wait.  _ Wait…  _

Wha-  _ who…  _ in god's name… is that?

I moved closer towards the cake that seemed to call my name, but no words left its mouth. No. Only its eyes, staring straight into my soul, god, it was as if time itself stopped for us. Allowing us this small moment of privacy from the prying eyes of the outside world -  _ and the Asda staff. _

There, on the top shelf in the aisle, stood a cake. A Mr. Kipling cake, to be exact.

He stood tall and proud - and trust me, the cake was a  _ he  _ \- and just stared at me. It was like I had known this cake my entire life. All prior knowledge of ‘stranger danger’ was lost to the wind. I loved this cake, and I knew that he loved me back.

I watched as he jumped off the shelf, landing on the floor with not a scratch on his sponge body. I had barely taken a breath when all of a sudden he had grown before my eyes. He only came up to my shoulders, but it was enough. This height would make us both happy.

He took ahold of my hand, and in the deepest most sexiest voice I had ever had the pleasure of hearing, he whispered, 

“Come with me,” and he led me toward the storage cupboard.

It wasn’t unusual for the pink and white sponge to have such a deep, gravely voice. No. It was… it was authoritative. He spoke in a tone that made me feel as though I couldn’t escape if I tried, not that I wanted to. It made me feel warm inside, stunned and very, very turned on. So I followed him, entirely unsure of what was to come.

  
  


~*~

  
  


He was a cake so obviously, he couldn't ha-  _ woah… _

As soon as I was inside the storage cupboard the cake turned around and swiftly locked the door. When he turned back around he had the biggest dick I had ever seen. It was pink, much like the icing on his body, and about the size of my forearm. It seemed to pulse and throb on its own accord as the cake gazed over my kneeling body.

The cake didn't say anything, didn't  _ have _ to say anything before I started ripping the clothes off my body. My fingers fumbled over the buttons on my shirt as they shook with anticipation. Once my shirt and trousers were off and lying in their own pile in the corner of the room the cake placed two fingers on my chin and forced me to look at his face.

He gazed at me, his cock slapping against the side of my cheek as he used his other hand to rub it.

“No need to be afraid, call me Mr. Kipling,” he said, his voice husky but also calming. I could only nod, too enamoured to think coherent thoughts.

There was already a pearly drop oozing from the tip of his hard cock so I used my tongue to lap at it, suckling the tip to satisfy the sudden hunger for this ‘Mr. Kipling’.

As soon as the taste hit my tongue I opened my eyes in bewilderment.  _ Holy Shit! _ His semen tasted like buttercream icing!

I laughed to myself quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment. My tongue suckled the tip before I felt a heavy hand wrap around the back of my head, pushing me further onto the hard cock. I felt the tip hit the back of my throat then go further, I choked and spluttered as he continued pushing.

At this point he was fucking my face. I had no control of the actions as he held the back of my head and thrust himself towards me. Somehow throughout this experience I still managed to breathe without him having to come out, I supposed it made sense considering he was a walking talking sponge cake, couldn’t get much weirder than that.

I could feel his cock twitch in my throat and I knew he was close. He tightened his grip in my hair and thrust harder before stopping completely and pulling out. I choked slightly as his cock crept up my throat and pulled away leaving a long string of drool. He used his strong arms to manoeuvre me into a kneeling position, ass up, and crouched behind me, spreading my legs until it felt like I would split in half.

Once he was settled he lifted his cock to rub against my tight hole, I gasped at the sensation, feeling more hot precome spill against it. Suddenly he pushed my head into the hard, concrete floor and snapped his hips against mine. I whined at the sudden pain which soon enough turned to pleasure,  _ thank god for that _ , and focused on Mr. Kipling behind me.

Listening to his grunts and moans made me feel happy, I enjoyed pleasing Mr. Kipling and making sure his needs were sated. He leaned towards me,

“Such a good pet,” he whispered in my ear, in that sexy voice of his, “so good for me… so good,” he grunted. I could only whine back. My head felt clouded in pleasure and pain, but mostly pleasure. He laughed huskily and I felt him push my head harder into the ground, his hips, if cakes even have hips, snapped faster into me and I could feel him twitching and grunting.

I moved a hand downwards to pleasure myself but was stopped when he snatched my wrist back,

“No, you only come for me,” he grunted. I whimpered but nodded fervently and out of the corner of my eye, I could see a smile growing on his face. A warm feeling started in the pit of my stomach, knowing that once again I had pleased him, and continued to grow as he pounded into me from behind.

He continued thrusting, hard and fast then slowing to an agonising speed only to quicken the pace again. He moved his hips slightly, trying to find something and suddenly my entire vision turned white with pleasure. He continued hitting that sweet spot until I was near sobbing for release. I knew he wouldn't let me come until he said I could, I knew that would only make him happier.

The electric feeling kept getting stronger until I could only gasp and weep. I felt him creep closer towards my ear once again and he grunted,

“Come for me, pet.” I cried out. The orgasmic release spreading throughout my whole body like fire and ice all at once. I don't know how long I sat there, sweaty, shaking and rapidly trying to catch my breath before I opened my eyes and saw that I was alone.

Had he left me?

Was I not good enough for him?

These thoughts circled my head and I felt a hard lump form in my throat. I swallowed it down, sighed then stood up and assessed what had just happened. Looking down at myself I saw that he had came on my chest and some on my hand. I licked it off, revelling in that sweet buttercream taste then pulled my clothes on. I still had to buy a cake after all and the shop would be shutting in about 10 minutes.

Without thinking I grabbed the first cake I saw, a minion cake, which was a  _ terrible _ decision looking back on it. I was about to run for the till when I saw the Mr. Kipling cakes. An entire box of angel slices.

I shouldn't.

I  _ shouldn't _ .

I did. I grabbed them and ran towards till. Only hoping that I would once again get to meet Mr. Kipling.


End file.
